Author | Poet | Mother | exjw | healer | survivor

When I moved in with my grandmother, I finally had three meals a day. Breakfast was usually Cheerios and canned fruit like peaches, cherries, and pears. I didn’t like it. It’s amusing to me that I had the nerve to be picky after years of food shortage. But compared with Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms… [...]

Food was not abundant in my childhood. I can still tell you exactly what you would find if you looked in the refrigerator upstairs at the Port Byron Bar & Hotel in 1991. You would primarily see the white interior of the refrigerator, plus a few items illuminated under the flickering fluorescent lights. Milk, if [...]

Most of the memories I have of my childhood are partial memories. They begin like a movie. A scene is set… but there is no telling where it’s going… and then it ends without much of a conclusion. It was simply an event in my life with enough emotion to cause recall. Like the bike [...]

I’ve decided to start a series sharing poignant memories from my childhood that didn’t seem to fit in my memoir Best Life After. Writing memories in Best Life After to transport others into my lived experience taught me how much I was intellectualizing my life rather than feeling it. Writing them in detail helped me [...]

I’ve come to realize there is an overwhelming number of important topics I want to share my thoughts on beyond simply healing from my seven year stint as an ex-Jehovah’s Witness. The question I’ve asked myself a lot recently is… where do I share them? I post a lot on social media, but social media [...]

Some interesting comments popped up under a few of my social media reels recently. Actually…. It was one comment repeated and posted to more than one of my reels from the same anonymous account. As a person who shares on public social media… I’m no virgin to hate comments. And I get my daily dose [...]

Of all the people I lost because I stopped believing in Jehovah’s Witnesses… Of all the people, both “friend” and family, I cut off because I finally had self-love and self-respect… because I would no longer shrink or serve to keep their company… The only one I miss is you. And yet… I’m not mad [...]

I no longer have interest in belonging to a religion, and I no longer feel the need to have all the answers. That being said, I still enjoy searching and pondering. I don’t believe I could stop my ruminating mind if I wanted to, so instead… I prefer to put it to good use through [...]

I often feel lonely. These days, I’m less distracted than I was when my children were young and needy. And I have a surplus of time on my hands now that I’m no longer “slaving for Jehovah.” That’s a good thing, but a new thing. I’ve also cut off most of my extended family, giving [...]

Welcome to my blog! I actually started this space back in May of 2016… before I ever became (and then un-became) one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. At the time, I was severely depressed… hanging by a thread and shrinking under the weight of pain I did not fully comprehend and could not name… and then came [...]